For the longest time, I have been having insecurities about the way my eyes appeared physically. I often noticed that when my left pupil would be in the centre of my eye, my right pupil would be elsewhere. Almost as if interchangeably, when one pupil would be in the centre of my eye, the other would move slowly to the centre, or not at all. You would think both of your pupils will move at the same rate however, for me it does not. After visiting my doctor yesterday at the hospital, I overheard him saying something about how my nystagmus was visible. I did not know what it meant and because he was talking to my nurse about it, I was just patiently waiting for him to tell me what was going on with me. Nystagmus was the word to describe what I was noticing about my pupils but, because I did not know the word for it, I never talked about it. This had been my insecurity with Multiple Sclerosis because my pupils do not look in the same direction sometimes. For the longest time, I felt bad when people would have conversations with me because I did not want to creep them out with my nystagmus and big eyes. (I always tried to not make too much eye contact in person because I felt like people would notice). This was pretty stupid because I let my nystagmus control me. Moving forwards, I now know to look at people and have the confidence that it is okay to be different!
My next video will be about my visit to the doctor because I want to share every bit of my Multiple Sclerosis journey with you! I think it would be more meaningful if I were able to talk about it in a video rather than in a blog post! Stay tuned for the video that will be up this week!
Pree <3
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